Out of My Grasp

Karl and I took an excursion to the Grand Canyon recently, and I just can’t get it off my mind. I know in my brain that I stood at the edge of the rim, and I know that what I was seeing was a canyon about ten miles across and about a mile or so deep.  I stood there and I saw it.  But somehow, I can’t actually fathom it all. We walked and drove along the south rim for the entire day, looking at it from different angles.  Changing, ragged vistas lay in front of us showing a riot of colors and moods as the light changed through the day. Reds and greys morphed into more dusty browns and mauves as clouds began covering the endless blue sky of the morning. In the later afternoon we watched as snow squalls (It was a whole 33 degrees while we where there!) approach the far rim then drop into the canyon. As the storm moved towards us the canyon disappeared and snow swirled. Even so, I drove away at the end of the day certain that I didn’t have a full understanding of what I’d observed.  Perhaps if I flew over it, or rode a donkey down into it, or maybe if I floated down the Colorado and witnessed the canyon from the bottom up, (all activities I would dearly love to do!) maybe then I might feel as if I had a working understanding of it.

As I’ve pondered my inability to actually grasp the size and beauty of the Grand Canyon, it occurs to me that I feel the same way about understanding God.  I can’t. I try, but I am unable to completely take Him in to my intellectual mind. I do know Him.  I see Him in my life, I feel Him as He moves in my soul, but I can’t quite grasp who He is. I delve deep, I explore Him from different perspectives. I listen to sermons, I read His word, I ponder Jesus’ life and teachings, I look at the majesty of the world God created, and yet. And yet I am sure that I don’t know Him as I truly desire to. 

All this pondering has taken me let me know one thing for certain.  I will probably always be a tourist at the Grand Canyon.  Maybe I’ll someday ride that donkey or float those rapids, but I can’t imagine ever knowing the area so completely that it is part of me and I of it.  But with God, I am not willing to remain just a tourist. I am willing to spend the energy and resources it takes to immerse myself in His grace so that He is a part of me and I of Him.  

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Colorado River Exploring

There are some days that stand out as lessons on the beauty and care that God provides us. Today was one of those days. We took a boat tour across Lake Havasu and up the Colorado River. I wasn’t sure what to expect or what we’d see, but there wasn’t anything disappointing in what we encountered.

Look on the left of this big rock and see an Indian praying.
Another needle eye, so cool!
A duck in flight. Right beside us.
The consensus was that this was a muskrat but it sure looks like a swimming racoon to me!
The best sighting of the day: a turkey vulture and an osprey sitting together in a tree. The Osprey has been fishing, check his talons.
The osprey and his lunch.
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Joy and Pain of Discovery

The desert has a formidable, cautionary kind of beauty.  The mountains have strong, jagged angles with a hint of threat to them in shape and shadows, and the grey, powdery desert floor combines desolation, a lack of sympathy, and a surprise of shapes and colors. We took a 4-wheeler ride out to see a ghost town last week, riding nearly fifty miles (round trip) on a ‘main road’ which was really mostly a well-traveled path down a desert wash.

cholla cactus Beware!

I’d been warned about the abundance of rattle snakes- though it’s still too cold for them to be a real threat. I keep my eyes out for scorpions and I hope NOT to see one, ever.  No one, however, bothered to warm me about aggressive, militant cacti that might jump out and attack. Nope.  Discovered that little peril of the desert entirely in my own.  A week later, I still have the mark where one of the cholla barbs pierced through the leather of my boot and into my foot. It took about 15 minutes, two men and two pairs of needle-nosed pliers before all the little cholla barbs were safely removed from my boots. Yikes. 

Ocotillo cactus

Even so, it was a grand and stunning day filled with blessings and wonderful encounters.  We marveled at ocotillos green from the recent rains, an unexpected arch, at the saguaros so stoic and brave, at more wild burros, and at the freedom of unencumbered sky and wind. Though thousands have come before us on this road, we had the joy and excitement of exploring and discovering this wild place for ourselves. Even the attack of jumping cacti came with blessings: I’m told many people have a bad reaction to this kind of attack that includes swelling and pain, I just have one little mark.  And, to tell the truth, I’m thankful I was set upon by the cholla when I was instead of just a few moments earlier when I was squatting….well suffice it to say that a barb in my ankle was preferable to other places!

Karl under the arch
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The Joy of Surprise

We took a drive today. We crossed the Colorado River then drove up the shore a few miles on the California side. It was the second time we’d made the trip (the first was unsuccessful) to try to find the elusive (at least for us) wild burro. It was a terrific afternoon that gave us much more than we’d expected.

Surprise one: Big horn sheep! I get a little prideful about Wyoming’s abundant variety of wildlife. These were smaller than ‘ours’, but who knew there even were big horn sheep in California?

Surprise two: We found the wild burros! And they were friendly, especially when we offered our friendship and carrots.

Surprise three: a road off the river road took us up and over a rugged pass filled with steep cliffs, tall saguaro cactus, and this surprise: an arch.

Surprise four: We came south to get out of the cold, and it certainly is warmer here, but it did rain all day yesterday, and we woke up today to see snow on the mountains around us. We stopped for a few minutes on the shore of Lake Havasu, and I just couldn’t help feeling joyous at the contrast between the palm tree on the bank of the lake, and the stunning mountains covered with last night’s snow in the distance.

Surprise five: The sunset comes every evening, so by itself that might not count as surprising, yet, when you are open to and welcoming joy, it’s easy to be lifted and maybe even surprised when a solid blue sky suddenly transforms itself into a peach and tangerine glow that silhouettes the trees on the far shore.

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Desert Delight

Joy comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Here’s one example of my joy this week: Early Friday morning Karl and I drove out to the desert and found a spot on a ridge above a ‘wash’ to watch about a quarter of a mile section of a 425-mile race.  The racers were souped-up trucks and bugs – fitted to fly across sand and rocks at crazy speeds. These are dune buggies on steroids.  Very loud, very fast. I did a little math, the winner of the race averaged well over 82 miles per hour for over 5 hours.  While that sounds terrifying, given the chance, I’d like to take a ride  –  it looked like such fun. 

Anyway, for our part where we sat, it was kind of like watching a very odd parade. The race is a timed event and the vehicles all had a staggered start, with a vehicle starting every 30 seconds, so mostly we only saw one at a time. The track called for each racer to make three laps so we saw some (not all!) three times.  For long periods of time there would be nothing to see except the sky, the quiet desert, and the hills and rocks surrounding us on the horizon.  Then we’d hear a noise and get to watch a vehicle fly by for about 7-9 seconds. 

This racer had to change a tire in the dust.
Two racers!

It was more fun than maybe it sounds.  In the interims, we enjoyed each other, we relished in surveying our surroundings, and we talked with fans around us.  Thankfully, most of the people nearby us were knowledgeable – this wasn’t their first desert race – so we learned a lot and asked a lot of questions.

Can you see the jackalope hiding in the trees? 🙂

How was this a joyous experience?  In many ways. First, the desert.  I’m not sure I’m ready to call the powdery dust and scrubby plants populating the area beautiful, but there is a lot to see and take in.  The expanse of it reinforced for me about how big God is. The variety and heart of living things holding tenaciously onto life despite the extremes of dryness, heat, and cold give me hope and new resolve to endure the hard places in my own life. Then there’s the race.  For a day I was away from politics and intrigue. Instead, we were immersed in simple and exhilarating man vs nature, man vs machine, and man vs himself contests that celebrated all that is good and creative and adventurous in humans. We met people who were friendly and excited about their lives for the day, and unafraid. We breathed fresh, though dusty, air and felt the sunshine on our skin. It was a good day.

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Embracing Joy

I’m a mountain and prairie girl.  I’m a Caribbean Sea girl.  I’ve never been a desert girl, and I know very little about it, but here we are spending two months in the Arizona, sitting beside the Colorado River in the desert.  It’s a whole new world to explore. In our little ‘back yard’ area (we’re at an RV park with other snowbirds) we have the polite and funny company of a covey of quail and one fearless road runner.  I’d never actually seen a road runner before except the one that avoids Acme bombs left by the Coyote, so it’s fun to watch him and get to know him.  I think he looks a little less intelligent than his cartoon counterpart, but what do I know?

A few days ago we took our first four-wheeler ride on the desert. (Saw a coyote but no bombs.)  It’s certainly a different kind of riding than we are accustomed to in the mountains – the rocks are augmented with powdery white dirt which makes climbing even small hills a fun challenge.  We didn’t take a map, but really, when you can see the horizon all around in a 360 degree arc, I’m not sure how a person could actually get lost.  Anyway, we found a road that led us to the very top of the tallest peak around. Locals call it P Mountain since there’s a big P painted on it, but the internet calls it Black Peak, elevation 1,594. Nearly 1600 feet above sea level is nothing compared to the mountains we are used to, but since our trailer is currently sitting at 474 feet, we climbed 1,120 feet from the base to the top.  Pretty steep going.  A little scarier coming back down.  Oh, but worth it.  The view of the valley from up there was stunning. 

It was a perfect first ride of 2021 and a perfect illustration for me of how to carry out one of my new year’s resolutions.  I want to spend this year embracing joy. I want to delight in the details of the little fluff on the quail’s head and the silly way the roadrunner looks as he passes by.  I want to follow a map-less road and stand on the peak and see the bigger picture. The grandeur and wonder. I intend to laugh and smile and KNOW that despite what the news says, God is God and He loves us.

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Visions of gingerbread

We are just a few days before Christmas and all through our house Christmas is glinting and chiming and sparkling, and making me merry.  I hope you can say the same. 

I am an absolute stickler for not opening ANY present early, I love staring at the pile of presents under the tree in happy anticipation.  However, I received a gift this week that wasn’t wrapped (plastic wrap doesn’t count!), and needed to be enjoyed ahead of time, and I want to share it with you (visually only, it’s too good to share gastronomically with too many people…sorry, not sorry!)

My friend Branda is thoughtful, creative, and fun, and a terrific cook.  Gather those traits together and the result this year is a detailed gingerbread fifth wheel trailer complete with wheels and tail-lights, a set of (cinnamon) bears roasting marshmallows over an open fire, a bench, and extra logs. It’s truly a wonderful accomplishment in totally yummy, edible art and a gift of smiles and love.

Have a merry Christmas week, everyone.  Take moments to give and receive the fun and joy of this special week right alongside the renewed understanding of the blessings we have because Jesus was born!

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What’s in a name?

When I was little, I thought Christ was Jesus’ last name. You know, Mary Christ, Joseph Christ, and their son Jesus Christ. Of course, I eventually came to understand that Jesus is the name His mama called Him (ok, yes, it was Joseph, the step-dad who named Him as instructed by the angel). Names like Christ or Emmanuel, Prince of Peace, Son of God, Son of Man were titles given to Him by others — all true and deserved and lived up to.  Still, His mama called Him Jesus, and that’s the name I like best.  Don’t get me wrong – I love that Jesus is my Deliverer, my Peace, my Messiah, my Savior.  He is all those things and so much more. But, when I use those names instead of His given name, He is elevated beyond me.  To call Him the Messiah is to upraise Him so far above me that I can’t even think of approaching Him.  To call Him Prince of Peace puts Him in a palace where I, a mere commoner, am forbidden to go.  Son of God? Nope, I’m not worthy for sure.

But I can call on a guy named Jesus.  Jesus was (along with being fully God) human. Maybe He had bad breath sometimes, maybe he chewed His fingernails. He had to cut His toenails and blow His nose. Jesus understands being poor.  He was born in a barn, I was raised in a trailer.  He understands being sad, angry, frustrated, confused. I feel all those things. He gets me because He was human.  I get Him because He was human.  Maybe that is why I love Christmas.  Christmas celebrates Jesus’ entry into this world in a way I understand. Through Jesus I have a friend who takes me by the hand and leads me into the palace and tells me I belong.  He saved my soul and leads me into understanding how. Because of Him I am worthy.  No small thing.  Yay Christmas!!

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Why?

In the novel I’m writing right now, the main character experiences something difficult.  She is young and laments to her mother, “Why did God let this happen?”  Her mother answers her saying, “I think you are asking the wrong question. It isn’t up to us to ask God why. He’s God, and He doesn’t owe us any explanations. There are other much more powerful and productive questions to ask.”

I did a quick search in the Bible. A very young Samuel heard God calling him.  He thought at first it was his teacher, Eli and he answered “Here I am.”  Later, when he knew it was God, his answer was “Speak, I’m listening.”  It isn’t recorded that Noah even answered God’s call to build the ark.  He just did it. When Saul/Paul heard and saw Jesus on the road to Damascus, he asked “Who?” A few verses later when God called out to Ananias, the answer was simply, “Yes!” When Gabriel told Mary she was going to become pregnant and give birth to the Eternal King, she asked “How?” When Jesus, face to face, called Peter and Andrew, they dropped their fishing gear and followed him.  Huh. No Whys? in that group.

I think many if not most of us have asked “Why?” in recent months.  We ask why of the government leaders, why to God, why to our lives when things are hard.  I’m realizing, though, that why is destructive.  It makes me a victim.  It makes me powerless. It traps me in anger. Starting now I’m going to make the effort to ask more enabling questions, “What can I learn here?”, “How can I be part of the solution?”, “Where can I channel my energies that will do the most good?”. Or simply, “Okay, God.”

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Light of the world

It’s been easy for me in the political and cultural tempest we live in to wonder if God isn’t tired of us.  I’ve thought lately that I haven’t seen God’s hand in the workings of America very much in the last months.  People seem angrier, more fearful, less loving, and I’ve wondered if God has turned us over to sin for a season. 

With this attitude, we’ve been laying low at our house. I’ve been writing a lot, we’ve been doing small projects.  Nearly every day we take a walk around our neighborhood for exercise.  And that’s when I first began to notice it.  We walk in the daytime, and lately every day we walk, we notice another house sporting Christmas lights – strings of lights newly hung on the eves, wreaths and plastic Santas, old fashioned snowmen and new, air-filled scenes of holiday cheer.  Three houses on our route have ornate, 3D nativity scenes. Many, many have decorated trees in the windows. And this started well before Thanksgiving. Yes, we are new to the neighborhood, but we certainly didn’t see this many decorations up last year. We were out after dark on the day after Thanksgiving and were surprised by the number of houses throughout town who have decorated houses and yards. 

Then it hit me, maybe I’ve just been missing how God is working.  I’ve been wanting ‘high dollar’, extravagant examples of God With Us.  I’ve been looking for the equal to the Red Sea parting or the shining arrival of Gabriel or Michael announcing a dramatic act of God to reassure me that He is near.  Instead, maybe the way God is moving among us right now is to speak quietly in each of His people separately, whispering hope and stirring simple, normal hearts to spend a little more time this year on the tree, put up just one extra set of lights, do something small but beautiful to spread the joy that He offers.  One day as we were walking, a lady a few blocks over was putting up a line of candy canes to add to her already festive and fun yard decorations.  Though we don’t know her, we stopped to compliment her on how pretty her yard was looking.  She told us, “We don’t have a lot of money to give to charities and my husband isn’t well and is facing surgery soon, but what we do have is this yard and these decorations.  It’s my way of giving to our community.” 

Amen. I heard God’s voice in her words.  I see God’s love in the sparkling lights.  I hope you enjoy the Christmas season this year.  And if you drive by our house and see our outdoor lights, I hope you hear God’s voice telling you He loves you!

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