I think about what I want on my headstone. It isn’t morbid, it’s a control issue. Today we went to the memorial for the 19 people killed as witches in Salem. They aren’t buried there – they were given a non-Christian burial in a mass grave. In reality, many of them were dug up and moved to undisclosed locations by their families later. Only one man’s, George Jacobs’, body is actually located. It is in the Nurse/Putnam cemetery we went to later in the day.
But, back to headstones. The cemetery that is adjacent to the memorial is a really interesting place. Tad Baker, who is with us and is the author of the book The Devil of Great Island, pointed out some interesting aspects of the headstones. I didn’t know that the pictures on the stones help identify how old they are. Weeping willows and urns demote late 18th century early 19th century weeping sentimentality. A cherub with wings is older, sort of a “have a good time in heaven” attitude. The death head and skulls are more Puritan.
One headstone caught my eye. Large and tall, the inscription reads: “Inscribed to the memory of distinguished female excellence exemplified in the life of Mrs. Mary Pitmas on May 31, 1802” Then a poem followed,
Sleep sacred dust till the last trump shall sound
And wake to life all nations under ground
Then burst the bonds of death and mount of high
Enabled in blissful immortality
To join the kindred souls in realm of joy.
What I liked about this headstone was how her family regarded her. I am assuming that the family chose the words on the headstone. Most of the surrounding stones named women according to their roles. ‘Loving wife’, ‘faithful mother’, blah blah blah. What a tribute to her character to have it in stone that she had lived an independent and singular life deserving such praise. Makes me think about my own life. What will my family say? In that regard the control issues change. Instead of dictating what I want them to put on my headstone, I better be working at controlling the way I live my life so that upon my death they are inspired to immortalize the person I was.
