I’ve been a bit under the weather lately, and when the weather here has been below 10 degrees with a wicked wind, that seems a low place to be. It is February 1st, and I’ve already met my insurance deductable for the year. I’ve been prodded and poked, and the bottom line is that there isn’t anything really wrong with me that an extended trip to St. Croix wouldn’t fix!
So, I took a sick day to day to recover from one last medical procedure (that proved that I am fit as a fiddle) and to think about how to change my circumstances in such a way that stress isn’t the insistant, destructive pest that it has become in my life and in my body.
My life is actually really wonderful. Let’s look at the high points:
- I have a Savior who loves me. Jesus died for me (and you, too!), and because of Him, I have hope that can’t be defeated.
- I have the most thoughtful and loving husband imaginable. He is my biggest fan and most honest advisor. After 30 years together, he makes my heart pound and can make me laugh hard enough to occasionally squirt soda out my nose.
- I love my job. Being able to spend my days with fifth graders and getting paid for it is true joy. I love watching them struggle to learn something new, and I adore the look of surprise and accomplishment when all the pieces fall into place and true learning happens. My principal and my teaching partner are two of the loveliest and most intelligent women I have ever worked with.
- My children are all happy and well and beautiful people. They rarely take my advice – because they are level headed and thoughtful enough not to actually need it.
- I have five grand children who are pure souls. They are a great mixture of feisty and smart.
- My first novel, Mountain Time is doing well. Sales are steady and reviews are positive.
So, what do I have to be stressed about? Honestly- nothing. But stress sneaks up on me with one word – should. It doesn’t matter what I have accomplished during any given day, but when I lay down at night, that word invades my mind and my rest, it is my constant companion in the form of a pain in my belly. I should have finished this, I should have done that, I should be more organized, or nice, or …. Get the idea?
Here’s my plan: I am going to try to banish that naughty word from my mind and life. I am going to give myself permission to fail, or leave something undone or done imperfectly. I am going to smile and relax instead of feeling like a failure at the end of the day.
